| Way back in time, when men used to roam the | | | | to the shortages in manpower, and the |
| earth with club in hand, women prayed that the | | | | ever-increasing size of predators grown fat from |
| man who knocked her out cold was "the one" - | | | | sensitive brethren lost; the young male cave |
| the caveman of her dreams. | | | | teenagers had to go out and help the cave dads |
| Sadly though, many a headache and broken | | | | fight to protect the cave kingdom. Once again, |
| dream was the only result, as the majority of | | | | missing out on another poetry lesson carved on |
| men in the day were not at all that good of a | | | | the wall by mom. |
| catch by today's standards. It seemed they only | | | | It seems that in prehistoric days, romantic and |
| concerned themselves with fending off | | | | sensitive natures were actually "not" what qualified |
| saber-toothed tigers and really never had much | | | | a "good man", but rather the qualities of strength |
| time to hone their romantic skills. They were just | | | | to provide family safety and goods for survival |
| the okay kind of a man according to modern | | | | were the prerequisites. If this were true, then in |
| ways, and in fact, all of them were like this. The | | | | fact good men were all over the place, because |
| good men - the romantic cavemen - were usually | | | | human beings still live today long after extremely |
| eaten by predators, and to this day, when a fossil | | | | large carnivores. |
| is found of such a man, usually a prehistoric | | | | Today however, the needs are different, and |
| flower can also be found right next to him. | | | | therefore the standards of what makes up a |
| Scientists figure stargazing at the moment of | | | | good man have changed. Survival is now a vote |
| impact from the fangs of a large animal was the | | | | away, and instead of keeping an eye out for |
| most common way of death for these sensitive | | | | predators, women keep an eye for a straight |
| characters. | | | | guy. With brute strength fading behind beer-bellied |
| In all the commotion of daily life three thousand | | | | monkey suits, and spines dwindling away, the |
| years ago, protecting the home front from woolly | | | | sensitive man has been born. The cave men of |
| mammoths and maintaining the sharpness of | | | | old can now only be found riding motorcycles, |
| spears and such took up a lot of time, but | | | | fixing your car, acquiring the company you work |
| supposedly good cavemen somehow managed to | | | | for, fighting fires or running down criminals in |
| muster up enough romantic inclination and ten | | | | between football games on tv. As a matter of |
| minutes of time to produce cave babies with their | | | | fact, the day could soon come when it is men |
| newly captured brides. | | | | who are ruthlessly bashed over the head and |
| Once these cave babies were done crawling | | | | taken home. However, and luckily for women, the |
| around in the dirt of the lair, it was the assumed | | | | question of whether to drag him by the hair, or |
| duty of their cave moms to grow these missing | | | | by the feet, was solved by the invention of the |
| links into strong law-abiding citizens. However, due | | | | wheel. |