| Be honest, does the title of this article strike you | | | | available to them in the form of an SUV. |
| as being perplexing? Are you scratching your head | | | | After all, who would dare to take issue with a |
| wondering what is the connection between The | | | | 'soccer mom' 'little league mom' or Pop Warner |
| Pope, Muscle Cars, Women, and SUV's? If so, be | | | | football mom, driving a brood of young players |
| patient and read on because we are about to | | | | and their equipment back and forth from |
| connect-the-dots for you. We begin with The | | | | practices and games? Nobody that's who. It was |
| Pope. If we can agree that, no document, no | | | | almost touching, heart-warming, a slice of |
| statements, comes forth from the Vatican | | | | Americana, to see a women behind the wheel of |
| without The Popes express approval and blessing, | | | | a SUV transporting a group of uniformed |
| then we can proceed. It was on June 19th, 2007, | | | | youngsters to their sport destination. Put another |
| that the Vatican, under the leadership of His | | | | way, it was an acceptable sight that remained |
| Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, released a document | | | | acceptable even when women were no longer |
| innocuously titled "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care | | | | transporting anyone but themselves to the |
| of the Road". | | | | manicurist. It was only when the SUV began to |
| It was this 36 page document of 10 'Thou shall' | | | | take a very hard turn from its original utilitarian |
| and 'Thou shall not' commandments that caused a | | | | purpose that a few eyebrows began to rise in |
| ripple effect that made its way from one | | | | question of why a woman might be driving a |
| continent to another. The first to experience and | | | | vehicle that was originally meant to provide |
| react to it were the high-performance vehicle | | | | passenger room together with towing and |
| loving Italians. Both Italian Ferrari owners and | | | | off-road capability. Especially a single woman who |
| dealerships were heard to gasp when they | | | | one just knew was never going to be towing |
| learned that the Holy See had suddenly taken a | | | | anything with her BMW X5, nor was she ever |
| somewhat hostile position towards high-end car | | | | going to allow it to be scratched by the bramble |
| ownership. Then, like an ill-wind blowing, the rest | | | | and brush of rough and rocky terrain.. Admittedly, |
| of Europe's high-end car manufacturers and | | | | even if one wanted to, one would nevertheless |
| owners began to feel a general discomfort. That | | | | pause at the thought of starting an argument |
| discomfort, that ill wind, then crossed the ocean | | | | with a woman literally looking down on you from |
| to America where Catholics, who had just parked | | | | her perch inside a Porsche Cayenne, |
| their Mercedes, BMW's, and Lexus's in the church | | | | Mercedes-Benz G-Class, or Lincoln Navigator L. |
| parking lot, were observed squirming in their | | | | Particularly when one considers that she could, if |
| pews. But the worst of its effect fell on the | | | | she wanted to, roll right over your fuel-economy |
| woman, in particular, the women who owned high | | | | sedan. |
| performance luxury Sports Utility Vehicles. So | | | | So then, what exactly was the Holy declaration |
| why was it that it was female high-end SUV | | | | that caused so much angst and fervor? Two |
| owners, that were the most distressed? Well, it | | | | sentences that is all it was. The first, sentence |
| was because, they had been hiding, carrying, | | | | was nestled in the section titled "Vanity and |
| harboring, and living with an unrealized secret, and | | | | personal glorification" and said, "Cars particularly |
| now it was realized, and there was no way to | | | | lend themselves to being used by their owners to |
| deny or escape from it. | | | | show off, and as a means for outshining other |
| They could no longer deny that envy and a lust | | | | people and arousing a feeling of envy." This is |
| for power had passed amongst generations of | | | | followed by the fifth commandment warning, |
| women. They could no longer escape the fact | | | | which cuts to the chase by saying,, "Cars shall not |
| that they, their mothers, and grandmothers, had | | | | be for you an expression of power and |
| longed to feel, and have ownership of, the power | | | | domination." |
| that men had felt as they steered their muscle | | | | And there you have it, that's all there was to it |
| cars, Harley Hogs, monster trucks, and | | | | and had these pronouncements not come down |
| high-performance sports cars. Then quite | | | | from the seat of the Holy See, they most |
| unexpectedly, what had been denied to them as | | | | probably would have been ignored. But they did, |
| being somehow unacceptable arrived and became | | | | and they weren't and that's all there is to that. |